**Theo Hernández's Leap from Milan to Al Hilal: An Odyssey Worth €25m or Just Another Day in Football’s Theatre of the Absurd?**

Picture this: you're just sat there, innocently trying to wrap your head around the concept of expected goals (xG), which, let's be honest, feels a bit like trying to explain Bitcoin to your Nan at Christmas, when out of the blue, comes the transfer news that Theo Hernández is making a sensational leap from AC Milan to Al Hilal for a cool €25m. Right, that's €25 million - or, to put it in terms you might find more digestible, roughly the cost of 83,333,333 Freddos back in the day when they were still 30p. Madness.

Listen, Simone Inzaghi once scored 20 goals in 34 games, and yet here he is, missing 8 big chances and still somehow wrangling a transfer deal that makes the GDP of Tuvalu look like pocket change. With a current market value of £87.0m, one can't help but squint at the €25m fee and wonder if Al Hilal accidentally added a discount code at checkout.

The world of football transfers is no stranger to the surreal. We've seen players move for sums that make you wonder if club owners are just playing a real-life version of Football Manager with the cheat codes on. But Theo to Al Hilal? It’s like discovering your local Greggs has started selling sushi. It's not that it's bad, per se, it's just... unexpected.

The stats, though, they tell a story. With an xG of 24.5, it's clear that Theo's prowess on the field is more than just kicking the ball in the general direction of the net and hoping for the best. It's art, really. The kind of art that's worth exactly €25m, apparently. It's an amount that's neither here nor there; not small enough to be a bargain, not large enough to cause a scandal. Just comfortably in the middle, like a Meal Deal when you're not that hungry but you eat it anyway because, well, it's there.

Right, let's get to the crux of it. Theo Hernández moving to Al Hilal is a bit like if someone decided to swap a night out at Wetherspoons for an evening of fine dining. Yes, the surroundings are nicer, and the company's probably more refined, but at the end of the day, you can't help but miss the sticky floors and the comfort of knowing exactly what you're getting into.

In conclusion, as Theo packs his bags and heads off to Al Hilal, we're left scratching our heads, sifting through the stats, and trying to figure out if football has finally gone off the deep end or if this is just another day at the office. Either way, one thing's for certain: In a world where Theo Hernández's transfer makes perfect sense, maybe it's us, not the football, that's gone mad. And with that thought, we sigh, take another sip of our tea, and turn the page, waiting for the next chapter in football's never-ending theatre of the absurd.